The Ramblings of a Bi-Vocational Minister

It was 2004 when I decided and felt the call on my life to become a minister. I was very nervous thinking how could God use a sinner like me? I felt very inadequate in the calling but God has a way of using us how we are and molding us into who he wants us to be. I have been a bi-vocational minister since then and I have to tell you it has its ups and downs. There is frustration and the are times I feel on top of the world and that the Lord has blessed me so. My frustrations are I can't do everything I want to do, be with those in need when I need to be because of my job. My job also has limited me because I am on call every five weeks and could get called away at any moment even on Sunday morning. The other frustrating thing is friendship. You think friendship? Yes, I have learned being a pastor has limited my friendships. Think about it, it is hard to be friends with those you serve because you are called to be their spiritual leader and that can get in the way of friendship. Don't get me wrong, I like all my congregation members but miss a true friendship because of the job. I have to look outside my church and I have a couple of friends one close friend but again I am rambling. I have times in my ministry I want to run as fast as I can away from it but you cannot outrun God...He is everywhere...he caught me in the first place...lol. I am blessed without fail but I sometimes find myself thinking about things before my life as a minister. Is that regret...no, but the weekends off were nice...lol.....the rambings continue......